Ruby Cadillac, A Murdered Angel

Baby Girl. I can't even believe i've been without you for a year. a whole year. 365 days. 52 weeks. far too long. My heart is still broken, and I still think of you every single day.

At this time last year I was driving home from work, and your daddy called me. He couldn't talk, couldn't bear to tell me what was wrong. Just kept saying, "get home now". I still remember how i fell apart when he did tell me. I was screaming "my baby, not my baby girl, not my squishy" I know you heard me. When I went to your daddy, I still didn't believe it... he must not have known what to check for, there's no way he could have been right. When they showed me where you were lying, where they had placed you, I seriously thought you were just unconscious, or maybe bearly breathing. I looked everywhere for blood and when i didn't see it, i really didn't believe it. I put my head to your neck, you were already getting cold, and i sobbed into your beautiful fur. i was screaming again, "she's not dead! she can't be! we need to get her to a vet" and Debbie kept saying "no sweetie, she's already gone". i finally did see the blood between your once-intense eyes, and the denial turned to rage. he had gotten you between the eyes, taken you away from me in one clean shot. and i cried on you some more.

i couldn't figure out why it was you that had been taken from us. you were such a great friend. you always knew when we needed a snuggle and needed to be cheered up. you always stayed by our side when we would go out and we loved traveling with you. you were protective when we needed you to be, and i was never scared when you were there. you loved to be picked up and carried everywhere and it wasn't always an easy task at 45lbs. you loved hanging out at the shelter with me and greeting everybody. and more than anything you loved your "sister" Corona. She misses you desperatly and has not been the same since. no one has.

baby dog. i know you are keeping some wonderful people and animals company right now, and it's an important job. you have lots of friends where you're at. and lots of people miss you here. i just wanted you to know how much i still miss you. how much i still hurt. i just wanted you to know that you meant more than the world to me, and i took it for granted, and i'm so sorry. i always thought you'd be there when i got home. i know now, you are. you're waiting for me to get home. and i can't wait to get there are see you again. i love you and miss you terribly and dream of you often. my greatest friend, you will never be forgotten.

Resting... Ruby Cadillac February 20, 2004 - March 1st, 2005

March 2nd Entry in the Hounds_of_Hell community on LiveJournal